i will cry when i have time to think

the beat goes on "best of the beat" list

late groundhog day present? ANTONY & THE JOHNSONS I AM A BIRD NOW ARCADE FIRE FUNERAL ARCTIC MONKEYS WHATEVER PEOPLE SAY I AM BELL ORCHESTRE RECORDING A TAPE THE COLOUR... BELLE & SEBASTIAN LIFE PURSUIT CASE, NEKO FOX CONFESSOR BRINGS THE... CAT POWER GREATEST HITS DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE PLANS ELLIOT BROOD AMBASSADOR FALL OUT BOY FROM UNDER THE CORK TREE FRANZ FERDINAND YOU COULD HAVE IT SO MUCH... GO! TEAM THUNDER, LIGHTNING STRIKE HARMER, SARAH I'M A MOUNTAIN HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS IF ONLY YOU WERE LONELY LEWIS, JENNY RABBIT FUR COAT MAGNETA LANE DANCING WITH DAGGERS METRIC LIVE IT OUT ORTON, BETH COMFORT OF STRANGERS POSTAL SERVICE GIVE UP SIGUR ROS TAKK STARS SET YOURSELF ON FIRE STEVENS, SUFJAN ILLINOISE STROKES FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF EARTH WE ARE SCIENTISTS WITH LOVE & SQUALOR WOLF PARADE APOLOGIES TO THE QUEEN MARY

i am on the other side of camp, and things look much emptier. the second week was the best for me, at church this morning i saw the gang guys who recieved Christ were there again. it makes me grin every time i see them, all cleaned up, in their best clothes, trying to find Romans in their little New Testaments they are only just getting the hang of. the third week i got to talk to some of the older gang or ex-gang members, the more respected hoods of bastion...it was a worthwhile week for me because of that. i got to know them better. none of them made radical promises to change their lives, like the guys in the first group, but i see small things in them that make me love them, and encourage me. i also acquired an obsessive admirer. he wrote a song about me and everything. he's really self-absorbed and i think is surprised by the fact that i don't want anything to do with him. i think its weird...love at first sight i don't believe in, but for someone to like ME at first sight is just bizarre, because it was at camp, where i use the same clothing pretty much everyday and play rough games and don't brush my hair and all sorts of stuff. my dad has hepatitis A. it means alot of rest. it means alot of slow down. it's scary, to see my dad, THE MAN, so helpless and out of things, by doctors orders...but God knows. maybe it will help him switch focus in his life...ministry wise. the internet says you need 4 weeks of bedrest and then 4 months of taking it easy.

Can i just say i just got back from the best week of camp... not because of the games, the sports, the ocean, the fun...though there was that...more because i talked to someone about God and they understood love...more because i witnessed one of those desperate hugs...mostly because God is alive and among us and can make guys who yesterday would have beat each other up for the simple act of flashing a handsign, today sing worship songs in front of 100 peers together.i love this life we're living.

its not a quote, its from my journal. i am home for two days, back to camp on monday. you know those moments when you know there is something bigger present? the beach at night is conducive to those moments. i feel dumb about being nervous about the kids lessons, they went fine, more than fine.

notice of absence

Hello, my dear friends. I have found a spare moment to post! Last weekend was carnaval long weekend...it was over by ash wednesday, but anyone who left their home was in danger of being soaked by water, pelted with eggs, covered in flour, painted with soy sauce and achiote mixtures or more kinder, chemical versions....among other tortures. Who am I kidding, carnaval is the funnest time of the year. I escaped the city craziness by being at the beach construction site, but since a few of my friends were there, too, the spirit of carnaval definitely wasn't lost on us. Many soakings and dirt slingings and paint surprises... On Monday I'm going back to the beach, for camp this time...something i have been looking forward to since last March, however my anticipation is soiled by the fact that I will be teaching three childrens classes...so, pretty much the same ill feeling i had leading up to 10 day outreach last year, and at pretty much the same time of the year. I'm nervous. Don't expect to hear much from me. I'll be needing your emails and thoughts and prayers, though, by the end of the next three weeks i hope to be dead tired. ------------------------ my life will not go to waste as long as i manage to love somebody unconditionally, write something coherent and honest, create something pure, and through all this, get closer to a God who lives. ------------------------