Friday, February 24, 2006

This is for you, Leslie. i'm saving up, we shall toss together again someday.


i will never get over the fact that i can watch the life of a bird family if i sit on my bed and leave the curtains open.

one day as i watched the mom and her two full grown babes frolicking on the bars of my window, i thought about how much time i spend watching them, i check on them almost every day. then i wondered..."do they enjoy watching me as much as i enjoy watching them? am i as much a wonder to them as they are to me?"

funny thought.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

i just had to say, i am sitting in the food court mall del sol, having found a wireless connection for my lap top to hook up to, for the first time since Houston airport, on my way down here, back in May. Hello, internet... and no, i'm not going to buy anything to eat or drink, thats just exactly what they WANT you to do.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

One thing I hate is stress. I do my best to avoir it, but when i sit down to write a blog, itsa all I can think about. But I WONT WRITE ABOUT IT, it will only make it worse. I AM NOT stressed. (it happens so rarely to me, i dont know what to do with it) My dad asked me today if I felt fulfilled, doing what I am doing. or, actually, i htink he just asked if i felt fulfilled in general. I was talking to Raul yesterday and said to him something i really missed was fellowship...i said "at bible school, god always seemed like he was around the corner". i think part of what i feel is missing in my life, is missing because there isn't a group that i regularily share myself a group. i mean, i have a group of friends, and i have someone to talk to usually, whenever i need to, if daniel or raul or janna aren't around, i can talk to armando, to alex maybe sometime, or my dad or mom...its not that i feel i have no one to talk to. its different when you talk in a group setting, though. truth be told, right now, i DONT feel fulfilled. i feel BUSY, but its not the same. when camp rolls around in march, i will feel BUSY. i'm praying for... ah. i dont know. something. i'm thrilled right now, the local drunk just walked into the cyber cafe and shook my hand, squeezed my shoulder and patted my side. It's a definite improvement on his usual calling of "alright!" and "i love you" (his only english phrases) ,sprawled on the pavement of the sidewalk. i think he likes me.

Monday, February 13, 2006

In news you don't care about: Emelec beat Barcelona 3- 0 yesterday!!! Go team. Something you might care about: I watched Coffee and Cigarettes, its not THAT amazing. worth a watch, if only for the hilarious Bill Murray clip and Cate Blanchett's stellar double performance...i liked it. i'll lend you all my copy.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

i keep my money in my “All you need is love” tin canister i got my mom to buy me an ashtray i love you more the farther away you go from me i’ll love you longer the closer you are to me i listen to chopin when i’m home alone i used to drink water straight from the jug in the fridge when i was a kid the side, not the spout i am capable of feeling lonelier than i ever let on i like it when kids play with my hair i’m sorry for the times i’ve hurt you because i seem not to care i have to be strong. i have to seem brave. you’ve learnt by now that i always play with something in my hands when i talk, or listen. i get disappointed with people and never ever tell them sometimes when you look at me my brain does summersaults i never eat the last corner of a slice of bread i don’t make promises because i can’t keep them