Tuesday, February 21, 2006

One thing I hate is stress. I do my best to avoir it, but when i sit down to write a blog, itsa all I can think about. But I WONT WRITE ABOUT IT, it will only make it worse. I AM NOT stressed. (it happens so rarely to me, i dont know what to do with it) My dad asked me today if I felt fulfilled, doing what I am doing. or, actually, i htink he just asked if i felt fulfilled in general. I was talking to Raul yesterday and said to him something i really missed was fellowship...i said "at bible school, god always seemed like he was around the corner". i think part of what i feel is missing in my life, is missing because there isn't a group that i regularily share myself with...as a group. i mean, i have a group of friends, and i have someone to talk to usually, whenever i need to, if daniel or raul or janna aren't around, i can talk to armando, to alex maybe sometime, or my dad or mom...its not that i feel i have no one to talk to. its different when you talk in a group setting, though. truth be told, right now, i DONT feel fulfilled. i feel BUSY, but its not the same. when camp rolls around in march, i will feel BUSY. i'm praying for... ah. i dont know. something. i'm thrilled right now, the local drunk just walked into the cyber cafe and shook my hand, squeezed my shoulder and patted my side. It's a definite improvement on his usual calling of "alright!" and "i love you" (his only english phrases) ,sprawled on the pavement of the sidewalk. i think he likes me.

2 comments:

Polythene Pam said...

A) I'm glad you are thrilled by that and not totally creeped out. Proves you've been living in NOT North America for a long time.
B) I know what you mean very very much. I was praying about it the other day and I was like, God I just want to be fulfilled by YOU, If you fufill me then I shouldn't need anything else! I felt like I was missing something in my relationship with him, intimacy or something because I lacked that fulfillment. And then I decided to listen to the sermon I had missed the sunday before and the pastor was totally talking about what relationship with God looked like and how one of the number one ways we live that out is by fellowship with other people. He said "I mean REAL fellowship, not just having a few beers and talking about the weather." like actually getting in there and talking about God and what he's doing. I miss that. I miss it a lot. But God is still good though...

brent potter said...

you know its funny, breakfast cerial. even though i live here i still consider it a novelty-especially honey nut cheerio's. thats what i want for valentines day, a jumbo box of HN cheerios. mmm...