Saturday, September 27, 2008
My stomach, my eyes and my brain are all unsettled right now. I couldn't understand why, so I have systematically begun to go through possibilities. Typical sources of stress are usually: Christmas- Easily dismissed because I have informed my whole family that I don't want/won't be buying gifts this year, and I booked the ticket to fly to Ontario yesterday. With Muddy, so I can't be stressed out about what to do with the dog. But: We don't have a crate big enough for him anymore, and he isn't trained to feel comfortable inside one. So maybe I am worried about this? I don't think it can be the whole reason. The rats- Katie has them right now, and yes, I am worried about them, and about what to do with them over Christmas while I am gone. Possible fragment source of residual uneasiness. Schoolwork- Always present. I tried to calm my sense of unease by going through my course calender and writing down my upcoming deadlines. Nothing big for another weeks and a half. But this led me to discover a large source of my unexplainable feeling of worry: I haven't had any grades back from any of my profs so far this year, except for one lousy news quiz. How is this possible? Are all my courses so end-loaded that I am going to die come the last weeks of November? I try to force myself to get things done early, but then the monstruos quantity of things that will eventually have to get done overwhelm me, and I don't know which one to concentrate on now, when nothing is urgent. The Gazette: It is pretty much proving to be exactly what I thought it would be, and although I exist in a constant state of catch-up, with impossible to prove suspicions that everybody talks about me negatively behind my back, I don't quite care enough to change anything drastically right now. I have more important concerns. Politics: Maybe, maybe. Oh, this is pointless, I still can't put my finger on it and I am sick enough of the computer already without spending frivolous minutes on it.