Friday, June 09, 2006
I hope you all saw the game
because Ecuador flippin' ROCKED. I saw the game on the main road of bastión sitting outside the Morocho joint with the creepy owner who stares at me, watching his tiny TV with a bunch of guys who jumped and threw stuff when we scored, which was awesome. Almost got killed on the way home by this guy who shot his pistol into the air (at a pretty perilous angle, I thought) at the end of the game, and felt the joy for a couple hours. But football high's don't last forever, and now, I find myself as low as I have been over the past week. I skipped youth group, dissapointed myself (but if I had gone I would have felt like a hypocrite) (maybe i just skipped because I wanted to feel worse about myself, because i know i deserve it)...failed as a friend...lied, bitched, and whined. I lay in my hammock outside in the back yard for 10 minutes and it made me feel everything more intensely, then I got angry at someone and went even lower...i don't feel like i deserve some of the nice things that happen to me, like Jonny Wilson, and good quotes from Heidi, emails from Janna, rain for 10 minutes, and cousins. I feel like a lousy person and i hope you all think i'm lousy, too, because otherwise, you're just deluded. If I had the energy to write more and convince you, i would, but I just want to go home, so bye.