Monday, May 29, 2006
is anybody out there?
why do i just feel entitled to god making my life decisions for me? i think i have too many of them. i think i used up the stock that he would supernaturally intervene in to provide guidance, too early in life. and now i'm just out, swinging over empty space on a jungle vine, taking indiana jones leap of faith... chelsey and clayton invited me to live with them in new brunswick (yes, thats in canada) in SEPTEMBER and go to school at their university (smallish)...straighforward? well, no, because see, its too late to apply for scholarships, so all that hard work i did in high school to get good grades, down the drain...and also, i would have to leave ecuador NOW, when i feel so useful with the guys in the park right now, and its such a crucial year for the youth group...(but when will that NOT be an excuse?)...i could wait a year and get scholarship (but who knows how much, even, would it be worth waiting for $1000?), but then chels and clayt will have graduated from Mount A and I wouldn't have anywhere to live. I could go, then, to Dalhousie, in Halifax, but thats such a larger university. anyways, do I really want to go to University? I would do one year of a B of A, and then apply to a social work program at Dalhousie...thats where my sister is going to be going to school in september, too. But its friggin WINTER in canada...i HATE winter...have no money...and want to STAY HERE. oh phooey